If Drunk Speaks a Sober Heart
by ENGLISHEXRPESSKING
Summary: After a horrendous fall from her engagement, Ana returns home to Seattle where her friend Kate helps her get over her breakup by hooking her up with a total stranger on Craigslist. The man was into BDSM and refuse to reveal himself till she agrees to sign a contract he e-mailed her.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

I woke up to an empty bed like I did almost every morning. Bryan, my boyfriend of five years, rarely slept in. He always got up around five o'clock to cram his work out session in his "busy" schedule.

Bryan and I had known each other since freshman year of high school, but didn't start dating till our senior year. He purposed that I move into his lavished penthouse in New York City that his mother had spoiled him with as long as he chose to go to NYU instead of WSU. She figured that since she could not win him in the ruthless custody battle that lasted too long, she would bribe him into moving closer to her once he was eighteen.

His dad, too, had tried to bribe him, insisting that he attended WSU and in return would get a brand new Rolex. Bryan chose the penthouse over the watch, but in the end got both the watch and the fancy place. He was, no doubt, a very spoiled guy.

I had left Seattle to join Bryan in New York City. Our relationship was good for the most part, except he rarely made time to see me. He worked for his grandfather, who owned one of New York's hottest hotels, and was overpaid for doing almost nothing. Every time I visited him at work he was either playing miniature golf in his enormous office or reading the latest Maxim magazine.

I got up to do my morning stretch and headed towards my make-up table. I smiled when I saw the pink frame that held a picture of me and Kate on the beach during our vacation at Tahiti. Kate and I had been friends since..forever. She was the most loyal friend ever. Kate would visit me every winter to enjoy my company and I would visit her every summer to enjoy hers.

I began to brush my dark hair and applied eyeliner to make my blue eyes pop out more.

I heard a gentle knock on my bedroom door, it was our maid, Mandy.

"Come on in."

The hefty lady entered with a vacuum cleaner and a duster. Bryan's mother entered after her which I was not prepared for at all. She wore a white pencil skirt with a red satin blouse tucked in neatly. Her long black hair was pulled back in a tight pony tail. She had a stack of photographs in her arms.

"Mrs. Ashford." I called out, surprised. I hated that she had the spare keys to our place, but she technically did own the damn penthouse after all. What is she doing here anyway? I thought.

"Ana, I just skimmed through all the pictures from your photo shoot for the Real Girls, Real Fashion event," she stopped to take a deep breath and got to the point, "Honey, you look fat in all of them. I don't think it would be a good idea to use your photo to promote the event. Too bad they won't allow us to use Photoshop to shave off some of that fat off your thighs."

"What?" I jumped up from my make-up table to grab the photos from her. I scanned through all of them, but didn't understand what she meant. "I don't look fat!"

"Fuck Mrs. Ashford!" cried Kate.

I had decided to call my best friend after Mrs. Ashford unpleasant visit. I got out off the cab and held a newspaper over my head to prevent my hair from getting wet from the heavy rain.

"You're not fat!" I heard her say over the phone. "You've already lost twenty pounds since you moved to New York. What are you? Like only a hundred pounds now?"

"Ninety pounds, actually." I corrected her as I dashed into the nearest coffee shop. I had starved myself for months just so that I could do a runway show for charity that Bryan's grandfather hotel was sponsoring.

"That's anorexic! Plus, isn't that event all about promoting real girls? They should be embracing all body shapes."

I was just about to order a latte, but changed my mind to a cup plain coffee instead since it had a lot fewer calories. I didn't know why I was letting Bryan's mother get to me.

My phone beeped and I held it in front of me to see who it was. It was an incoming call from Bryan. "Hold on." I told Kate and switched over to the other line.

"Good morning, darling."

"Hey, Bryan. How are you?"

"I'm doing great. Meet me for dinner at Moda and dress extremely nice. I have a surprise for you. I'll see you there after I get off work?"

"I'll be there."

"Wonderful!"

He hung up and I resumed my conversation with Kate.

That night, I threw on a pair of diamond earrings that Bryan had bought me for my 21st birthday and wore an open back red dress. He had arranged for a limo to pick me up and I wondered what the special occasion was going to be.

I arrived promptly and was greeted by one of the hostess. I scanned the area for Bryan but he had not yet arrived. There was a huge crowd in the waiting area for a Monday night, but Moda was one of the hottest restaurants in Manhattan so I sat on one of the seats that were available and fumbled with my heart shaped necklace from Tiffany and Co. as I waited for Bryan.

Bryan arrived not so long after, "Sweetheart, what are you doing waiting here? You should be seated at one of the tables I had already reserved for us."

He gave me a kiss on the cheek and took my hand as the hostess led us to a table for two. Our waitress, a slender blonde lady with impressively large breast that I noticed grabbed Bryan's attention right away, brought us over our menu.

"My name is Kelly and I'll be your server for tonight. What should I start you off with?"

"We'll start off with a bottle of your finest champagne," He answered. His eyes were still glued to her chest.

"Great! I'll be right back!"

"Bryan, what's going on tonight? What are we celebrating?" I asked.

"You will soon fine out." He shot me a handsome smile and continued to flip through the menu.

Our champagne arrived in a bucket of ice and we placed our orders.

Finally, Bryan dug in his suit jacket and pulled out a small box.

Oh, my god! Is he going to purpose to me?

I had been waiting for this moment ever since I was a little girl!

"I'm deeply in love with you, Ana. I really want you to be my wife," he said and popped open the box, revealing a beautiful halo diamond ring. "Will you marry me?"

"Oh, my god! Yes!" I screamed and nearly jumped out of my chair. I could hear the people around us clapping and congratulating us.

I was going to get married!

"I'm getting married!" I screamed. I had schedule to webcam chat with Kate immediately the next morning.

"Oh, my god! Let me see it! The ring! Let me see it!" she squealed.

I held my hand up to the webcam so that she could take a look.

"Whoa! That rock is huge!" she exclaimed. "When is the wedding going to be? And what would be the theme of your wedding?"

"I'm not sure when the wedding will be. But, I was thinking about a beach theme wedding. Maybe we'll get married in Malibu or even Hawaii!"

"That sounds amazing!"

When I ended my conversation with Kate, I proceeded to announce my engagement to some of my close relatives and even updated my Facebook status. I could not believe that I was finally getting married.

On my way to get some coffee, I stopped by a magazine stand and bought a bunch of bridal magazines to get an idea of what my wedding should be like. I sat on a bench in central park and flipped through the pages while I enjoyed my hot cup of coffee.

There were so many décor to choose from! I used my sticky note to mark all of the potential ones and figured that Kate could help me narrow it down.

Later that day, I got a call from Mandy informing me that she had a horrible cold and couldn't make it to our penthouse to clean. I wished her well and figured that it was no big deal. I could clean and do some of the laundry myself.

I arrived home and decided to do laundry first. As I sorted the clothes by its color, I gasped in horror when I saw some lipstick stain on one of Bryan's white shirt.

I immediately texted Kate and told her to get her webcam ready so that I could show her.

"Look!" I cried, as I held up Bryan's shirt to the webcam.

Kate's eyes widened as she analyzed the plum colored lipstick mark. She leaned closer to her computer screen to take a closer look. "Ana, is that thread part of his shirt or is it actually a long piece of someone's hair?"

I pulled the shirt away from the webcam to see. "Where?" I asked.

"Near the third button."

Oh, my god! It was obviously a piece of someone's long blonde hair!

I looked at Kate. The look on her face said it all. She was sure that Bryan was cheating on me with some blonde bimbo.

I got a phone call from Bryan while I was tossing and turning in bed, waiting for him to come home.

"I'm gonna be home super late." He said, "I have some work that I have to finish up in the office."

Like what? I thought to myself. Bryan doesn't work! He just fools around in his office all day. I did more work than him doing modeling gigs here and there. Then I shot up from my bed and became suspicious.

What if he's with that blonde bimbo?

I got out of bed and got dressed to pay him a little surprise visit.

I hailed down a cab and promised to pay the driver extra if he rushed me to my destination. He agreed and I arrived shortly to the hotel where I bombarded in like a crazy woman about to go on a rampage.

"Don't tell Bryan that I'm here." I said to one of the receptionist who knew me. He had the phone ready to dial Bryan's office as usual when I came to visit, but set it back down when I asked him to.

I took the elevator up to his office and took a deep breath before I swung the door open.

No one was there. Not even him. But, where the hell was he than if not in his office? Maybe he was in a meeting room somewhere and was actually working…or out partying with that mystery blonde woman!

I got back into the elevator. The ride down seemed like an eternity and my anxiety was beginning to make me nauseous.

Oh, my god. I'm gonna throw up! I thought to myself and stopped the elevator to get off the next floor. I figured I needed to calm myself down before I got back on.

I paced up and down the hallway to try to ease my anxiety. A maid that was pushing a cart full of cleaning supplies smiled at me. I forced a smile out just to be polite.

Maybe there was no mystery woman and I was only being paranoid. I stopped pacing and decided to call Bryan to tell him how much I missed him and how much I wanted him to come home before I went insane. Maybe I just needed him to tell me that he missed me too.

I opened my bag to find my cell phone and speed dialed Bryan. Suddenly, I turned around to face room 1094 and swore that I had heard Bryan's ring tone coming out from there. I tip toed closer to the door and pressed my ears against it. I called his cell again and listened closely.

No way. He really is in there! How convenient! I thought to myself. Where the hell is that maid?

I rushed to hunt down the maid so that I could use her universal key card to unlock room 1094. Once I've located her, I snatched the key card from her hand. She took off chasing me down the hall, shouting a bunch of angry Spanish words at me, but I didn't care.

I unlocked the room and stumbled in, tripping on some clothes that were scattered on the floor. My jaw opened when I saw Bryan naked with the mystery blonde woman bent over in doggy position.

"You dog!" I shouted. No pun intended. "How could you do this to me?"

"Ana, I feel nothing towards her. I love you!" he shouted as he got off the bed to get dressed.

"Bullshit!" I cried. My inner goddess was breaking down in tears.

The blonde hair woman brushed her hair away from her face and just when I thought that nothing could shock me more, I realized that she was our waitress, Kelly, from the restaurant that he had proposed to me!

The maid finally caught up to me and entered the room. I turned to her and shouted, "This man asked me to marry him and now he is cheating on me with that bitch!" I pointed to Kelly.

"Oh, mi dios!" the maid cried out and clasped both hands against her face in horror. It was probably the most dramatic scene that she had watched other than the ones from some Spanish soap operas, I thought.

I handed her back the key and stormed off. This was not happening! I had pushed aside my dreams of obtaining an English Lit. degree to move out here.

Enough was enough, I didn't care to hear his excuses. I was going to go home to pack my bags and buy the first plan ticket to Washington without a second thought.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

…One year and twenty pounds later, I found myself back in Seattle with Kate. While Kate had finally achieved her dream of becoming a journalist, I was now just taking classes to begin the path down as an English lit major.

Kate had been generous enough to allow me to reside in her apartment.

"God, he is so hot and sexy!" exclaimed my best friend, Kate, as she drooled over some hot guy that she had discovered on a site. She had been addicted to that strange "dating section" on Craigslist for weeks, hunting down hot guys like a predator.

It was a hot summer night in August, but Kate and I (and a bottle of merlot) had decided to hang-out at her cozy two- bedroom apartment, browsing through the internet for some hot guys while lying around on her bed. Being a Saturday night, nothing sounded better than checking out guys and gossiping with red wine.

It was all innocent fun, honestly! I couldn't imagine myself meeting up with a stranger. Instead, I was a voyager to Kate's online dating adventure, just along for the ride. I admired the way she went at everything with total confidence in herself. I sometimes even envied it.

As I took a closer look at the picture, I nodded in agreement. He definitely was a cute one.

She grabbed the laptop away, venturing on down the list of desperate men until she came across an ad.

SEEKING SUBMISSIVE

"Seeking submissive?" I nearly choked on the words.

Curious, Kate clicked on the ad for further details and it read:

I'm seeking a submissive. You be clean, fit, and obedient. I will be clean, fit, and your dominate. I can make this worth your while. If you're serious, respond back with a picture and in the subject write: "Your submissive"

The ad did not show a picture of the man or anything else that hinted his identity. The only thing shown were those texts and a random picture of a woman being spank, possibly taken from a porn website to demonstrate what he was looking for.

"Ohh, kinky," Kate said mischievously. I couldn't refrain from biting down on my bottom lip as I was reading it.

Kate snuck in more red wine into my glass as I was distracted with the post. Holy crap! How many women out there would respond to such an ad?

"Are you going to respond to that ad?" I asked her, intrigued if she would be insane enough to.

"No," she protested, shaking her head while I eyed her. It was when she turned to me with a sheepish smile that got me thinking uh-oh!

"But you should!" she squealed.

"Are you serious? Oh, my god! I would never!" I cried, totally freaking out.

Kate shrugged and her movement was careless. She took possession of the laptop and turned it away from me while I focused on the notes of my wine- bittersweet with a hint of…vanilla? I wasn't sure; I was not a wine expert.

I returned my attention back to Kate. "What are you doing?" I demanded.

She peeked up from her laptop with an expression that told me she was up to no good. "I just responded to that ad with a photo of you."

Oh, my gosh! I was mortified.

My stomach squeezed and my heart knocked hard against my chest, pumping boiling blood straight to my face.

"Are you mad?" she asked me when she noticed the changes in my facial expression. I did not hear the concern in her voice, instead she muffled her laughter.

"A little bit," I answered and downed my glass of wine, tasting it acutely- bitter and sweet.

 _YOU GOT MAIL!,_ her computer chimed.

"Oh, my god! He just responded to the e-mail. He said he is going to call you!" she shrieked.

"Exactly what photo did you send him?" I asked. "-And, oh, my god! You gave a total stranger my phone number? What if this guy is a wacko? I know nothing about him! I don't even know what he looks like! Now, he knows what I look like!"

"Oh, be spontaneous for once!" She turned the screen to show me a picture of us on the beach in our bikini, only she had cropped herself out of it.

"I was spontaneous! I was spontaneous when I decided to leave my life behind and adventure off to New York City where it blew up in my face."

"Pick up when he calls you!" She suggested as if she had not heard my answer. So obvious, the wine was consuming her.

"I'm not going to pick up when he calls me! I don't know what to say," I protested, shaking my head furiously.

"Oh, come on! It'll be so fun!" She egged me on. "Have another glass of wine if you are so nervous."

I began with a cautious tone, "Kate, I really don't think it's a great idea."

"Life is short, Ana. Just give it a shot! Besides, when was the last time you went on a date with a guy?" she countered.

"I don't remember…" I trailed off to memory lane, trying to recollect my dating life.

"Exactly."

It was true. The last guy I dated was Bryan. He was my first boyfriend, my ex-fiancé. He had won me over with his pathetic poems that I had found romantic at the time. Looking back at his poems, they were nothing but cheap words scribbled on cheap notebook paper.

I could never forgive Bryan, but it was clear that he was never ready to let me go. He had stalked me from New York and continually pestered my friends and family for information about where I was staying. He had eventually hunted me down, arriving at my doorstep out of the blue, begging me to come back or at least remained his friend. I had granted him "friendship", but never did I answer his phone calls or e-mails.

"Oh, don't be mad! I'm only trying to help you get back into the game. Once he calls, you are going to pick up."

"No!" I protested. "Kate, this man is into spanking!"

Kate burst out laughing, her face disoriented by the wine. "Come on! Have some fun! A little spanking is not going to hurt anyone," She said, almost slurring on a few of her words. She poured some more wine into my glass then to hers, emptying what's left of it. "I love drinking expensive, luxurious wine," she said, holding up her glass.

"Kate, we picked this wine bottle up from Wal-Mart for five dollars," I reminded her. "Expensive luxurious is how you would describe it?"

"I don't care. I love drinking wine. Period. It makes me feel sophisticated and classy."

It was my turn to burst out in laughter, "Sophisticated?" I snorted as a wine fueled smile spread across my face.

"Yeah! I feel like an elegant woman when I have a nice glass of wine in my hand!" Kate stated as she waved her glass in the air, causing the red liquid to swirl around. "Look at us! We are classy!"

The wine was beginning to faze me, but not as much as it did Kate. She had taken her voice up a notch and her face was fuming from our cheap wine.

We both laughed for a while, not sure of what we were laughing about. It was Kate who had finally broken the laughter when she noticed that my cellphone was vibrating from the inside of my purse.

She launched herself at my cellphone and beamed at the screen, "It's from a private number! It must be him!" she announced enthusiastically.

I didn't stop her, instead, I found myself willing to take a chance on internet dating. It might have been the alcohol that caused me to have a change of heart. Maybe it was even the fact that I had been lonely for so long.

Kate shoved me the phone as soon as she answered it, literally shoving it hard against my ear. Ouch! She had such a mischievous look on her face when I held on to my cell.

Anxiety coursed through my body, it grew stronger with each passing second.

"Say something," Kate whispered.

"Uh…" I was sobering up quick, hitting me that I was about to talk to a stranger.

I placed my lips on my wine glass to take another sip, only to find that it was empty.

"Hello?" answered a male voice and the silent that lingered after that was awkward at best.

Holy Shit! I mentally cussed and hung up the phone. What was I doing?

"OMG! That was so lame, Ana!" slurred Kate.

"This whole thing is dumb!" I retorted.

"What did he say?" she demanded.

"Nothing. He just said 'Hello' and I hung up."

She palmed her face and began laughing. Finally, she decided to change topic, which I was grateful for, "You know who I think is hot? Mr. Grey."

"Yes, he is," I concurred.

"Would you marry him if he asked you to?" She impulsively asked through her drunken haze. "I know I would."

I couldn't help but to laugh, "Sure," I shrugged carelessly, "I think every girl would. But, why would someone like him ask my hand in marriage. I'd be lucky to just get a phone call from him."

Yes, I would be lucky if I got a phone call from him or was even fortunate enough to be within view of him. I yearn to have a man like Mr. Grey. He seemed so neat and oh-so manly. And I needed a man in my life, not a boy who can't control his hormones like Bryan….Well, a girl can only hope to one day meet the one.

Kate and I continued our conversation into the night, gossiping about celebrities and girls from Kate's work that she thought were mean bitches.

A/N: HELLO! And thank you for reviewing Christian618 and emi17. OMG, yes, good for Ana for leaving. But if I was a woman and I caught my man in bed with another woman, I would tackle that bitch down like a jerry springer show! Oh, my gosh. But, Ana will be ladylike. THANK YOU ALL AGAIN for taking the time to read!


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

The next morning, I woke up feeling decently hungover. I reached for my cell phone and checked the time. The clock read 7:56 AM, but I had no recollection of when I had passed out. I shook Kate to wake her.

"What?" Kate yawned.

"I'm going to take Isabella out for a walk," I told her as I started to get up. Isabella was our pug. Actually, it was one of Kate's friends dog to begin with. We had inherited Isabella when Kate's friend had to move back to take care of the grandmother and Kate friend's grandmother was allergic to furry animals.

"Ok...Whatever," Kate said with a sleepy expression before hiding back under the covers.

"Oh, by the way, Kate," I began, "It is Sunday morning and it's almost eight."

It took a moment for the information to sink in, but when it did, Kate nearly flew out of her bed. She had to do an important interview for her papers and that interview started at eight. I watched with entertainment as my best friend rushed about the room, getting ready for it.

"Where are my keys?" Kate questioned as she threw on a blouse. Her effort at the gym was quite obvious, but the white blouse she was putting on would hide that. Since she was in a rush, she didn't care that the blouse did not compliment her fit figure.

I pointed at her nightstand where her keys were. She grabbed them and dashed towards the door. Before she left, she turned and looked at me to deliver a message, "Ana, eat a real breakfast today. Stop picking out carbs! If I see them in the trashcan, I'm going to spank you!"

I did not laugh at her private little joke. Instead, I became mortified as I remembered what she did last night. I could not believe that Kate had the audacity to give my number out to a complete stranger!

After walking our hyper pug, Isabella, for three blocks, I kept wondering what I was doing with my life, but then my phone chimed unexpectedly and notified me that Kate had sent me a text.

KATE: If he calls again, pick up! You'll never know what will happen! ;)

ME: Yes, like ending up chopped in a million pieces and thrown into a garbage bag!

KATE: Oh, don't be so cynical.

I rolled my eyes at her text and Isabella snorted as if she understood what was going on and was siding with me.

Then, Kate's words were starting to ring true to me. I was beginning to feel lonely, but that didn't mean that I had to resort to Craigslist for help.

August's bright sun was launching its intense rays at me and I squinted as the pavement became brighter. I could feel the burns kicking in on my skin from the summer heat, so I decided that it was time to head back.

Isabella wagged her cute, curly tail as she waddled behind me, struggling to keep up with my pace.

Once I had entered the cool air-conditioned apartment, I undid Isabella's collar and let her have at her chew toy.

I sighed as I ventured to the kitchen, searching for a low-carb breakfast to devour. Kate told me that I needed to gain at least five more pounds, but I begged to differ. I grabbed a green apple from the fridge.

This will do for now, I thought.

I brought my breakfast into my bedroom where I made plans to catch up on my summer readings. As I was changing into something more comfortable, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

Am I getting fatter? I questioned myself as I did a 360 degree spin in front of my floor-to-ceiling mirror.

I had gradually gained twenty pounds over the year, and even though the doctors had told me that I was still slightly underweight at 110 pounds, I still wasn't sure if I was comfortable with gaining that much.

Urgh! What was wrong with me? I couldn't help but to feel my self-esteem washing away. All those years of being with Bryan, and trying to meet his impossible model quality standards, had my self-confidence evaporating away like a drop of water in the sizzling desert.

No! I wasn't going to let Bryan and his mother's model expectations hold me back anymore. I was not a stick, skinny super-model, I _am_ a real woman. I could feel my self-esteem inching back in me as I headed for the kitchen to make a real breakfast.

I cracked a few eggs into the pan, along with some strip of bacons, and whipped up some pancake batter.

There on the kitchen counter, I proudly ate my hearty breakfast without a guilty feeling in the world.

In the dark hours, anxiety began to take over me as I heard my phone ringing. I prayed that it wouldn't be from that private number, but of course it was. I eyed my phone unhappily as the daunting _Private Number_ flashed on my screen, tempting me to give in.

Oh, crap! If I ignore it, it'll go away.

I hid my phone underneath my pillows and headed for my desk to finish reading a chapter of Lolita. Just when I thought that he had given up, the phone chimed in again and again. I finally had enough and shot up from my desk, marching over to seize my cell.

"Please, stop calling me. I am not interested," I hissed. I could swear that my voice came out a bit shakier than I had wanted it to.

"But, you haven't heard what I was going to say!"

My eyes widened and embarrassment coursed through me when I came to realize that it was my friend, Kate. I held my phone away to look at the screen. God, it was Kate. Dammit, why did I have to assume every ring was from Mr. Dominate-Of-Craigslist?

"What's up with the attitude?"

"N-nothing, I'm sorry. What were you going to say?" I heard ear-bleeding music from Kate's end blasting its way over to mine. Kate must have been at a club. I creased my eyebrows as I tried to focus in on her voice.

"I'm at this new hot club called The Chandelier. Care to join me?"

"On a Sunday night?"

"Sure, why not?"

Later after a ride in a cab, I finally made it to the club where Kate had been waiting for me.

I wore a conservative summer blue dress along with some nice black pair of sandals. I had let my dark hair cascade down to my shoulders with loose curls, and wore light make up. Meanwhile, Kate had on a one-shoulder, satin blue dress, pairing it with some hot spiked stilettos to give her outfit an edgy look. She painted her lips a daring, bold red.

The club was so lively with a good crowd of people for a Sunday, great music, and beaming lights. Dozens of crystal chandeliers hung high above us, shimmering and bouncing off neon lights. Hot guys chilling in VIP tables checked out ladies in skimpy outfits as they walked by. A group of girlfriends huddled around in a corner, laughing and having some great conversations.

Kate and I linked arms as we fought through the busy crowd to a bar where we both ordered a dirty martini.

"Cheers to the wonderful night we are about to have!" Kate shouted over the loud music, and we both clink our glass together.

Three martinis later, the loud music started to amplify the party animal within me. Kate and I hit the dance floor, twirling like free spirits with our hands up in the air and grinding our bodies up against strangers.

I grabbed Kate hand to pull her towards the bar again, "This one's on me!" I said as I waved down the bartender for two shots of patron.

"Ok! Ready?" Kate shouted when we held our shot of tequila, "One, two, three! Bottoms up!"

`We both downed the shot, letting the alcohol heat up our blood some more. As we sat, chit-chatting the night away, I noticed that at least eight guys had tried to make a move on Kate already. None had paid any attention to me and I was starting to wonder if I was the ugly friend tonight. Urgh! There I go again, taking a turn down Low-Self-Esteem Lane.

A good looking stud walked over to Kate. He whispered something in her ears and she burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, but I want to spend some time with my best friend," She said and thumbed me.

` "No!" I protested and pushed her playfully towards him, "I'll be fine. Go have a little fun!" I nudged.

"Ooh, you're telling _me_ to go have fun?" she chuckled playfully.

"No, really, go have fun. I think I'm going to call it a night."

"Oh, come on! It's still so early!"

"It's eleven o'clock!" I retorted over the loud music.

"That's early!"

"No, I really ought to catch up on my summer reading. I have this list of books that I-"

"Alright, fine," she said and gave me a hug. "I'll see you back at our apartment."

Truth was, I didn't understand why none of the guys had shown any interest in me and that was a shot to my self-esteem. Did I have to wear heavy makeup and a provocative dress that advertised sex to get attention in the men's world? I felt practically invisible.

To hell with it, I thought as I entered my room and plunged myself onto my bed after changing. Why should I need to be hit on by a couple of drunken guys to prove to myself that I was beautiful?

What if it wasn't Kate's provocative fashion that had led men to hit on her? What if it was actually her beaming self-confidence that was really alluring?

My thoughts were interrupted as my cell alerted me that someone was trying to reach me.

Holy crap! It was him, the dominate guy from Craigslist.

As I stared at my phone, I noticed that the buzz from my martinis was allowing daring confidence to creep up on me. I bit my lower lip and decided to answer my phone.

"Uhm..Hello?" I answered uneasily. Oh, my god! Where could this conversation possibly go? How do women go about talking on the phone with a complete stranger they've never met?

"Hi," his voice finally answered.

"Hi," I repeated awkwardly and palmed my face after that.

"How are you doing?" The mystery man responded. I could hear the excitement in his voice. I felt my cheeks getting hot as words began to escape me. Holy macaroni! What if this guy was seventy-one, an old man with a sick fetish?

"Hello?" he asked again after a moment of me being mute.

I analyzed his voice more carefully. He certainly didn't sound like a senior.

"I'm fine, thank you," I finally replied clumsily.

"Your voice sounds sexy," he chimed in for the sake of breaking the silence.

Oh my God! Does it really? I asked myself. "You have a very handsome voice too," I complimented in response. I heard him chuckling.

"What are you wearing?" he then asked me rather boldly.

Is he a pervert? I thought to myself. Oh, who was I kidding? The guy posted a sexual ad on Craigslist with a picture of a woman being a spanked. If he's not a pervert, what is he?

My inner goddess was screaming at me to take advantage of the situation. She was down for some phone sex, but I wasn't sure what I wanted out of this. I wasn't sure if I wanted _anything_ from it and was tempted to hang up again!

I could hear my inner goddess pleading me. She was pouting her lips and egging me on.

Fine, I thought, I'll play along. Why not? I was a little horny and decided to have some fun. My inner goddess beamed at me.

"I'm wearing a pink push-up bra and a matching lacy thong," I lied. I was really wearing a pair of baggy sweat pants and a tank top, but what would be the fun if I just said that?

"Wow! That sounds really hot!" he exclaimed, I could hear the excitement in his voice again. "I saw that photo you sent of you in your bikini, you look stunning."

Yikes! I did not send that picture, but I'd let him believe that for now.

As he continued to compliment me, I felt my courage grow, but the compliments weren't something new to me. Bryan had once dropped the same lines on me, yet, the anonymous guy was beginning to faze me. I was flushing and blushing away, letting myself be drenched in his compliments.

Thanks to a couple of martinis earlier, I felt relaxed and I was starting to feel bold as well, so I asked, "Tell me who you are. What's your name? And…what are _you_ wearing?"

He chuckled in response and said, "Are you agreeing to be my submissive?"

I creased my eyebrows at that, "I don't even know exactly what that means. What do I have to do to begin this…agreement?"

"First off, I draft a contract up and e-mail it for you to sign. Are you on birth control pills?"

"No," I answered. Wow, the guy was quiet frank and straight to the point.

"After you sign the contract, we will proceed by getting you on birth control pills and a full on STD check."

"Whoa! Don't you wanna take the gal out to dinner or at least for a drink first before demanding her go on birth control and a full on STD check?"

"Well, of course, after you sign the contract, we will proceed to meet each other in private-"

"I prefer public since I don't even know what you look like or who you are," I stated bravely. Was I really going to go through with this, or was it all curious hypothetically speaking?

"I'll e-mail the contract to you. You won't regret it, Ana, I could make this worth your while," he said smoothly.

Oh, god, he knew my name, probably because Kate mentioned it when she e-mailed him a photo of me along with my number.

"And what is your name? Mister?"

"I will reveal myself to you as soon as you sign the contract."

Curious as to where this was all going, I told him my correct e-mail address so that he could send me that damn contract.

We hung up, and moments later, I received an e-mail with an attached document to it. I downloaded the document onto my laptop, hoping that there wasn't any virus with it.

As I proceeded to open the document file, I found that it was thirty pages long! I skimmed through it, going through some sections about respecting privacy and on to some weird sections about bondage…and gagging? Oh, god! What a buzz kill!

"The guy you tried to set me up with," I began. It was early the next morning. Kate and I had decided to take a stroll down a park with a cup of ice tea for rejuvenation.

"You answer his call?"

"Yes."

She led out a squeal of excitement. "Well, how was he? What is he like?"

"Weird just about sums it up," I answered.

"Oh, don't be like that," she said and took a sip of her ice lemon tea.

"No, I'm serious! The guy refused to e-mail me a photo of him. Instead, he sent me a contract, thirty pages worth! I'm wondering if I should have a lawyer look at it before signing," I stated, sarcasm dripping from my voice. "Is this normal internet dating behavior?"

"Dating? Who said anything about dating?" asked Kate. "Craigslist is basically a place where people meet up to fuck."

"Fine, is this _normal_ Craigslist behavior?"

Kate tossed her head back and burst into laughter. "Oh, honey, nothing is normal on Craigslist."

"Why do you bother going out with guys on there then?"

"Because it's the abnormal ones who are brilliant and creative at fucking," she chuckled. "What's the big deal anyway? Just sign the stupid contract and meet him in person. If you don't like him, you could always bail. Just meet him some place public."

"What if somewhere in his lengthy contract, there's a fine print that states it's okay for him to murder me and I signed it!"

Kate nearly choked on her tea when I said that. "Ana, don't be ridiculous! You're being so paranoid."

"He could be a murderer, Kate."

"-Or, he could be a famous movie star or someone who is trying to protect his identity, like a rich billionaire!"

I snorted at Kate's little optimistic fantasy, "Yeah, right." Then I wondered: if Kate had been seeing men from Craigslist, what had been the weirdest one she'd encountered. So, I asked, "You've met some weird guys on Craigslist, haven't you?"

"Oh, sure, they're everywhere, not just on Craigslist, you know? But for every twenty or so weird guys, I have met a few nice ones."

"What was the weirdest one?" I asked.

She spun to look at me and lowered her voice down to a whisper, "One time, I met this guy on Craigslist," she began, "he wanted to pay to have my hymen reconstructed just so that he could "deflower" me."

"Oh, my god! That _is_ weird!"

"Isn't it? I never did it nor did I ever talk to him again after that. But, you know, BDSM is pretty hot. I think you should try it out. I don't think that's too weird. Bryan was weird too, you know? He had an obsession with models and ladies with enormous breasts. It was quiet clear. He even tried to turn you into one. And didn't he even try to convince you to get breast implants? Oh, thank god, you didn't! I guess everyone has a weird obsession."

"I don't know…"

"Well, there are plenty of men out there," she squeezed my shoulders, "You don't have to go along with that guy who is making you sign a contract. I'll hook you up with a different guy."

I wasn't sure if Kate was a qualified matchmaker and I questioned her choices in men sometimes. I don't think her mission was to find me a date though, I think her mission was to get me laid. Period.

….Still, I couldn't help but to feel intrigued by Mr. Dominate-From- Craigslist… Will I have the nerves to go down that road?


	4. Chapter 4

IF DRUNK SPEAKS A SOBER HEART

CHAPTER FOUR

At night I pondered in my room with a glass of red wine, thinking if I should give BDSM a shot. I had never done anything like that, but then again, I've never talked to a stranger found on Craigslist. Maybe I should take a leap of faith, try something different. So far, my daily routine had fallen under the category "Boring". It was always school and reading, and I wasn't getting any younger.

God, Kate had always been so bold and daring, constantly grabbing life by the horns. I wish I was brave and fun like her, taking risks here and there. I seriously envied Kate and yearned to be a social butterfly like her.

Yes, I should do this, I thought to myself. Perhaps this man could help me explore my sexuality, making me feel things that Bryan had never made me felt. That thought was arousing and very, very tempting. It had been far too long since I'd last been with a man.

I poured myself another wine glass, hoping that it would bring me some courage so that I could sign that damn contract, meet the man, and have mind-blowing sex.

Later, I opened my laptop, and after skimming through that lengthy contract for the second time, I finally e-signature it.

After a few minutes of waiting for a response, I received an e-mail from him and it read:

FROM: DOMINATE

SUBJECT: WHEN CAN WE MEET?

I AM PLEASED TO SEE THAT YOU HAVE FINALLY SIGNED THE CONTRACT. TELL ME WHEN AND WHERE YOU WANT TO MEET.

Oh, my gosh! I was really going to do it! It may have been the wine fueled courage, but I began to type back:

FROM: ANA

SUBJECT: SOON!

LET'S MEET AT IHOP : 3948 KOVAL LN, SEATTLE WA 98111. MAYBE AROUND SIX-ISH?

I hugged myself, happy for finally being bold enough to go through with this. I wondered what it would be like to meet an online date. I opened his next e-mail:

FROM: DOMINATE

SUBJECT: PERFECT

I WILL SEE YOU THERE!

Yes, so the date was set. Tomorrow night, I would finally meet that man.

The next morning, my door bell began to ring constantly as I was brewing myself a cup of dark coffee and cooking up some fluffy pancakes. While Isabella barked and scratched at the door, I ignored the ringing as I continued on with my daily routine in the kitchen.

I sat down to eat but the constant ringing and knocking on my front door was beginning to annoy me. Who could it possibly be? I hardly had any friends which was sad to admit. Perhaps it was someone looking for Kate?

I finally gave in and got up to answer the door. When I swung the door open, I found Bryan standing there right before me. What an unpleasant surprise, I thought to myself.

It had been nearly a year since I'd seen him. Last time I saw him, he was graveling at my feet, begging me to come back to him or at least be his friend because he just had to have me in his life. Urgh! I had only agreed to be his friend to shut him up.

He still looked the same: Neatly combed dark hair, dressed in an expensive suit, and he still used that same overwhelming cologne. I poked my head out and saw that he had rudely parked his black BMW behind my car, blocking it from being able to pull out of my assigned parking space.

"Oh, god, I was going to park in the visitors space, but it was all full," he said when he noticed that I was bothered by it. He came up to give me an awkward hug but I did not reciprocate the hug.

He took a step back, observing me from head to toe. "Oh, no! Oh, honey, you've gained weight. Are you eating to cope with our tragic break-up?" His voice was so dramatic, it was ridiculous!

I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm eating like a normal human being. Why are you still obsessing about my weight? Why are you still obsessing about _me_? Why are you even here?"

"I'm on a business trip."

"No. Why are you _here_ at my apartment?"

He stood with both of his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth nervously. I could tell that he had something he wanted to say but was having second thoughts about it. Finally, he opened his mouth and asked, "Ana, you're seeing someone, aren't you?"

I scoffed at his remark.

What the heck! Did this guy have some sort of creepy radar! Take a hint already.

"No…Well, sort of. I am going to be seeing him tonight," I answered. "So, you came all this way from New York City to confirm if I am seeing someone?"

He chuckled a little and shook his head. "No. I told you, I'm on a business trip. Figure I stop by to see you," he said casually, trying to hide the fact that he was desperate to see me. "After all, we did agree to remain friends," he said and shot me a handsome smile. However, I still held a grudge against him and did not smile back. "So, how did you meet this lucky guy?"

I debated for a while, wondering if I should tell him, and even though he had a smile on his face, I could still see the jealousy growing in his dark blue eyes. "I met him through craigslist," I finally said.

Suddenly, jealousy escaped him and he was genuinely relief for whatever reason. "Some loser on the internet?" he asked and laughter took over him. He laughed so loud that it was echoing throughout the apartment complex and beyond. I could swear that the whole city of Seattle was probably deaf by now.

I could see that Bryan still had that same cocky attitude and that, for sure, was never going to change. "You know what, Bryan? You make a terrible boyfriend, but you're even worse as an ex."

"Ouch…"

Frustrated, I began to close the door on him, but he put his foot in to prevent it from shutting all the way.

"No. Ana!" he cried as he tried to stop me. "Baby, come on, Craigslist? Haven't you heard of the craigslist killer?"

"Don't call me baby!" I screamed as I kicked his foot out of the way and slammed the door in his face. I locked the door and leaned against it. I could still hear him talking through the door

"Remember that time when I took you shopping down on Fifth Avenue? We hit the entire main brand store and you tried on all the clothes you liked. I remember sitting down, waiting eagerly for you to step out of the fitting room. Damn, you looked stunning!" he said.

That guy was a spoiled brat, a rich kid with two rich divorce parents who were buying his affection with luxury items. It was all sad because that had only misled him into thinking that he could put a price tag on love.

I sank lower and lower down the door till I found myself sitting on the floor. Memories from our past began to flash before my eyes. I remembered that time where we would just have a simple picnic at Central Park and enjoyed each other company. I missed a lot of things we did in New York City.

I soon frowned when I came across the memory of him having sex with that stupid waitress. "Go take your whore shopping!" I shouted with anger and marched away as he continued to pound on my door, begging me to let him in. I proceeded my way to my kitchen to continue eating my breakfast. Eventually, the pounding stopped, the apartment resumed to its peaceful state, but knowing Bryan, it would not be the last time he'd show up.

The clock was ticking, it was already past six o'clock, but I found myself in my room at lost for confidence. That guy from Craigslist kept calling me, but I didn't want to answer and was having second thought about the meeting.

Holy cheesecake! What if Bryan's right? What if I he's a Craigslist killer, a murderer who takes advantage of lonely women like me?

Maybe I should meet guys the normal way, like at school or something.

An hour passed by, and when I decided to check my e-mail, I saw one from Mr. Dominate-From- Craigslist.

FROM: DOMINATE

SUBJECT: BAILING ON ME?

I WAITED FOR AN HOUR AT IHOP BEFORE GIVING UP. I'M GUESSING THIS IS THE END OF THE ROAD FOR US.

I decided to respond to him.

FROM: ANA

SUBJECT: SORRY

I AM JUST AFRAID TO MEET YOU. MAYBE IF YOU AT LEAST SEND ME A PHOTO OF WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU, BUT YOU KNOW MY NAME AND WHAT I LOOK LIKE. I ALREADY SIGNED THE CONTRACT TO RESPECT PRIVACY.

It took a while for him to respond back, and at that point, I was beginning to think he had lost all interest in me. Then a new e-mail popped up in my inbox. It was sent by Mr. Dominate-From-Craigslist.

FROM: DOMINATE

SUBJECT: _ATTACHED IMG_

DOWNLOAD IT. IT'S A PHOTO OF ME.

I downloaded the attached file onto my laptop and waited for it to open. The image that popped up was a photo of Christian Grey. I burst into laughter and scoffed at his whole bullshit. Why would Christian Grey need to post an ad for sex? I typed back:

FROM: ANA

SUBJECT: HAHA FUNNY!

WHAT DO YOU _REALLY_ LOOK LIKE?

FROM: DOMINATE

SUBJECT: ….

ANA, THAT IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE. I'M CHRISTIAN GREY…

Oh, my god! How ridiculous! Picture yourself going on Craigslist, and the next thing you know, some weird guy is claiming to be Ryan Reynolds or Channing Tatum…or even Christian Grey!

I had enough and powered off my laptop. Was this all some kind of a joke?


End file.
